Again I haven't posted in a very long time, almost a year I think. The problem a lot of the time was trying to stick to the one topic when really I feel that there is so much more I want to talk about and need to talk about, rather than "Just" Fibromyalgia.
So I am in a bit of a quandary as I loved doing this when I could and hoping my words could help and inspire people, but I want to write about Soooo much more.
I don't know whether to keep this blog and just change the name, or to just start a new one altogether, but then the work that I did put into this I worked very hard at.
My life is so much more than Fibromyalgia and maybe I am just realising that, I want to share so much more than just that and appeal to a wider variety.
For example I draw and would love to share my work and get some opinions, I'm by far not the greatest by I enjoy it and I do try, I write Poetry and the same goes for that. I read books, I am addicted to books, they are a HUGE part of my life, along with music and I like sharing opinions on these too or other things that excite me eg 3 weeks from today, I am getting MARRIED!!!!.
I just want to share so much with the world as well as try and help. I don't know what to do. I need some opinions.
I am worried that the people who follow my blog and who can relate to it may feel a bit betrayed, Oh I don't know. I know in my own head what I mean. I think it would be easier for me to keep up with a blog to which I can post anything and everything.
Something that is Just me, all of me and not just a little part. That each day could take you down a totally different path while still talking about Fibromyalgia and my other illnesses and the HUGE impact that they actually have on my life.
I want or I need to add some fun and happiness and talk about things that make me feel like this, now here comes the problem. I don't do "Happy" writing. I write better when I'm in the grips of Depression, when I'm struggling and suffocating under the strain of life. But even the I "WRITE", good old fashioned pen and paper crazy ramblings. I have books and books of them, and though I find people would find them hard to read, I feel they would "Enjoy" them because they are my best work.
I would love one day to get my work published, but then again this scares me as it is deeply personal and would probably need to be highly edited.
My life story I believe would astound and interest people especially if you read the Biography style books like "A child called it", "Sickened" both of which I have read, Real life stories that can grip the world. Unbelievable stories that "Only happen to other people". My life story is like that, in so many ways, on so many different subjects, over and over again.
People that know my story have often questioned how so much pain and heartache, and bad things I suppose can happen to one person and they still have some of their sanity, still get out of bed every morning. And I wont lie, a lot of the time it is extremely difficult. Living life waiting for the next bad thing to happen. But I don't want to live like that, but I also don't want to hide who I am or what has happened to me.
There is always someone worse off, but I can relate to so many things on the most personal level. My creativity and my writing, drawings, poetry etc is who I am inside and often at my darkness. Even when there is light in my life, the darkness will always be there and it's how I cope. How I express who I am. One thing I have always done and I believe I always will do is; Have hope and believe, Believe in something better, believe I was meant for more than this and meant to be greater, believe that everything I have went through and will go through is for a reason, even when I feel like giving in. The world doesn't know my story yet, I haven't inspired them yet and I can't ever be done until I do.
Anyway I would like some thoughts and opinions on what to do blog-wise.
Thank you all for listening again