The unrecognised carers, Thank You!

Having a really bad day today I feel so ill, have a really really bad migraine that won't go away.  I have took my migraine wafer and strong painkillers but it still wont shift.  Feel to warm, too sore and just really crappy.

However I done my hair and makeup to go to the shop and while I though I looked and felt crappy (really dry skin on my head, hair seems really greasy today) I came down the stairs and my darling hubby told me I looked really good before I even said that I felt like crap and thought I looked the same lol.  Have not done make-up all last week because for some reason I keep getting abnormal rashes and reactions to things that I was previously fine with, plus I've not really been feeling up to it.  So waiting for the facial explosion lol, that's just my luck.

I have to say it is my hubby and daughter that keep me going especially on days like this, as much as they both drive me cuckoo at times I wouldn't change them for the world.  He has been my carer for 10 nearly 11 years since we met through my depression etc but in the 22 month since I "got ill" and gradually got worse over the last year or so he has had to take on a much greater job as my carer while still being my partner and a father to our daughter while keeping in mind that minus the physical illnesses I still have Mental Health Problems and he still needs to watch out for the warning signs and triggers to a depressive stage.

I don't think he or other carers get enough recognition for what they actually have to do and it winds me up.

Meanwhile I made it to the shop even feeling like this and got the few wee bits and bobs we needed, while coming back i was crossing road when a smart ass in a black Honda decides after he turns corner which was a wee bit away from where I was to slam the foot on the Accelerator ... Oh my god I am crossing the road with a walking stick and was on the road before you even turned your car round the corner which I am not even near, wouldn't be that if the idiot had actually hit me - Boils my blood, hate ass holes like that.

My daughter continues to screech and cry and fly of the handle for no reason.  I can't stand it especially when I have a migraine and feel like this.  I love her to bits but wish she would just behave and listen.  The screechy screechiness goes right through me and the constant moods and crying about everything.  ARGGGGH.

I love her so much but sometimes it is a struggle to manage with her.  She is a very high maintenance and full on little girl and very hyper.  Don't think people realise how hard it is sometimes especially when you have no-one to babysit or take her off your hands for a day or night.  Think most other people with children have some kind of support network but we do not, that in itself is hard for anyone with a child but for someone who is very ill too it is sometimes a constant struggle.  She is 4 going on 14 and a little genius and I know that this and because she needs constant stimulation which due to me being unwell I can't always give her contributes to her attitude and moods.  All I want is to be a good mother and for her to be happy and healthy.

At the end of the day she is my wee miracle and you need to take the rough with the smooth.  She is outspoken, grumpy and highly strung a bit like me lol but she is also beautiful, smart, funny, caring, helpful, silly, wonderful, amazing little smarty pants and I love her to the moon and back.  She and her daddy are my full world and without them I wouldn't be here.  So to them I Love You Always and Forever - Yous are both my strength and weakness, my life, my love, my happiness and the light at the end of the tunnel.  Yous keep me strong and keep me fighting and give me something to fight for.  Yous drive me crazy but I love yous all the same.  Yous make me whole and keep me going and for that I am thankful, because even though in my life I have had a mountain to deal with I have both of you and that helps make it easier.

I would like everyone to be thankful for there family, the ones who sometimes forget how much us being ill actually affects.  The ones that are there for you day in day out struggling along with us.  And to they people I would like to thank on the behalf of anyone who is ill because yous make our lives a little bit more bearable.

Thank You!